More Than Friends
by GIR's Infernal Waffles
Summary: Zim thinks that his Dib-thing has been spending too much time with this cancerous Sue... thing. But Dib insists that only a boyfriend would be entitled to that kind of possessiveness. So Zim demands an explanation and then demonstrates that he does in fact know what "love" is- the giving of Earth-meats and the showing of affections, yes? ZaDf to ZaDr, beware the FLUFF to follow.


**(A/N) I told you you had some oneshots to look forward to. ;P  
**

**But I've been wrestling with writer's block lately. xP  
**

**But when I was browsing DA tonight, I came across a very well-thought-out thesis on why ZaDr could be canon. So I was writing a comment explaining my own stance on the issue… and this came to me. :') **

**I don't usually write fluff like this, either… so this is rather special. :3 **

**I tried VERY hard to keep them both IN-CHARACTER. But this is ZaDr. No flames, dearies. We all know this is ZaDr, and we wouldn't want any unpleasantness for either of us. So if you know you won't like it, please don't read it. Or hey, read it. We always welcome converts. ;) **

**I don't own Invader Zim or any of the characters. I just have a bit of fun with them in my free time. ;3 **

Dib was… laughing.

_His _Dib.

With someone…

… that wasn't _him_.

"Oh, the big-headed boy will _pay_."

"Hiiiiiiii Mary! We're spying on you, Mary!"

"Silence, GIR! You'll give away our position!"

"Oooohhh. HEheeeEEHehe!"

"…"

… … …

Dib knew fully well that he was being watched, but he chose to ignore the painfully conspicuous alien in the bushes, at least until his conversation was over.

Because this conversation of his was going surprisingly well.

"W-wow…!" the bubbly girl giggled, looking up coyly from under her eyelashes. "S-so… this ninja ghost in your toilet? Tell me more…!"

Dib felt himself blush, laughing nervously. "Well, you know… I had to get it out, didn't I? So I-"

A car horn honked, and the girl jumped. "O-Oh! Oh, that's my mom! I have to go!" Smiling a smile that sent shivers up Dib's spine, she dipped her head. "I'll see you later, Dib! I want to know the end of the story!"

"O… okay!" Dib found his voice as she waved, beginning to trot away. He held his hand up hesitantly, waving it weakly. "B-Bye, Sue…!"

She giggled. "Bye, Dib! Don't let the aliens take over the earth before I see you tomorrow!"

"I-I won't…!" he answered, standing up on tiptoe and leaning after her, reaching out unconsciously. She waved once more from the passenger side of her mother's convertible, and then vanished down the street.

"The Dib is acting in an unsatisfying fashion."

Dib jumped, having momentarily, against all odds, forgotten about the alien hiding in the bushes. "And what, now all my actions have to satisfy you, Zim?" he asked bitingly, turning with his hands on his hips.

"Yes," the Irken answered seriously, raising his voice briefly to be heard over GIR's shrieking as the SIR went rolling aimlessly across the scene. "Zim and Dib are friends, yes? Dib exists to please Zim."

Dib rolled his eyes; it had scarcely been a week since he had explained the concept of "friendship" to his would-be mortal-enemy. As the years had gone by, they had struck a sort of uneasy truce, their battles becoming less bloodthirsty and more playful as time went by. It had become increasingly obvious that Zim wasn't on the brink of taking over earth, nor was Dib a single camera-click away from handing the Irken over for dissection. And so their spats and scuffles had become mutually amusing- and an unlikely friendship had grown up where authentic resentment had created a bond.

But Zim was still quite ignorant on the subject.

Dib sighed. "Zim, that's not what friendship is about. Friends can have other friends, you know."

The Irken's brow arched. "And Dib is… _friends_ also with this… human female?"

The paranormal enthusiast felt his face heat. "Well… I-I gue-"

"Un-ac-_cep_-table!" Zim quipped, striking his human soundly on the overly-large cranium. "The Dib is mine! Zim will accept none of this two-timing _friendship_!"

"Ow…!" Dib muttered, rubbing at his head crossly. "Zim, you jerk! If you were my boyfriend, you might have _some _ground to sta-"

"What is _this_?" the Irken asked, aghast, cutting him off. "Is Zim _not _the male friend of Dib?! The Dib speaks lies!"

Realizing what had just slipped, the human sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Zim… Zim. How do I…?" He let out a long breath. "How do I begin… to explain…?"

"Explain what? Explain what, smelly little earth-monkey? Tell Zim!" the Irken demanded, looking like an eager child refusing to be ignored. When Dib didn't respond right away, he whipped out that strange Irken device, threatening wordlessly to trap Dib in that infamous floating bubble once again.

The human held up his hands. "Fine, Zim! I'll… try." He sighed again. "You'd have to know anyway," he muttered awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. "I've already had two kids ask me if we're…" He flushed unexpectedly red and looked down, unable to continue.

Zim screwed up his face. "Why is the Dib acting like an awkward smeetling?" he asked, irritated as he peered at his human.

"Well… there's this… 'more than friends' thing, you see…" Dib began, shuffling his feet. "It's called… 'romance' or… 'love.'"

"Zim has heard of this '_lu-ve_,'" the Irken said flippantly, waving his hand. "The giving of meats, yes? Such things do not interest Zim!"

"There's more to it than that, Zim," the human said, sounding a bit sore. "There's the dating and the kissing and the…" Suddenly he trailed off, wondering what he had been about to add to the list and thanking fate that he had run out of breath before he could. Seeing the alien still waiting for an explanation, he finished lamely, "It's more than friendship, okay? And my point is, even if you're supposed to have only one lover, you can have more than one friend."

"… If Zim was Dib's… 'lover…' Zim would be entitled to irritation over the invasion of this female human?" the Irken asked curiously, and Dib sighed.

"Yes, if Zim was my boyfriend, he would have a leg to stand on." Seeing the alien gazing down quizzically at his legs- both of which seemed to be functioning well as objects to stand on -he added in irritation, "A _metaphorical _leg to stand on, Zim; a scrap of justification."

"Zim needs no medication!" the Irken cried, but moved forward anyway. "That is that, then! Dib is Zim's 'boyfriend,' and there will be no more seeing of this female girl!"

After a moment of understandable shock, Dib face-palmed. "No, no, Zim, you can't do that."

"Zim can do whatever I wish! I am Zim!" the Invader said grandly, pulling a startled Dib to him. "And none shall have access to the Dib but Zim! Therefore Zim is the Dib's boyfriend! Do not question Zim!"

Dib scowled, shoving uselessly at the Irken. "Z-Zim, you don't understand…! Romance… is not-!"

The human cut off with a startled little squeak as the Irken's chilled lips pressed to his, then vanished as Zim scoffed, "This is 'romance,' yes? The showing of human affection, yes?"

"Y-Yes…" was all Dib could stammer as his face began to steam.

"Zim _does _watch the television," the Irken continued flippantly, taking Dib's shoulders commandingly and walking him over to a nearby park bench. He then thrust him into a sitting position and stared down commandingly at his human, as only an Irken Invader could. "So Zim is now Dib's boyfriend, yes? And there will be no more nonsense with this female human, yes?"

"Z-Zim…" Dib tried one more time. Unsuccessfully, as it turned out, for the Irken came forward and kissed him again, this time adding a sharp little nip to the end of the gesture. "Ouch…!"

"That is understood, yes?" he asked again, his voice leaving no room for argument. Astonished and confused- and more than a little embarrassed –the human found himself nodding breathlessly. Zim smiled, a bit sadistically. "Good. Zim is satisfied. You may go, now."

"Wh-what…?!" Rising angrily, Dib huffed. "Y-You just… and then… what?!"

"Zim tires of your presence, my little Diblet-boyfriend," the Irken said with an exaggerated yawn, smirking sideways at the human. "I will see him tomorrow _without_ the hideous tumor-girl attached to his side."

"Sh-she wasn't… I'm n-not… I mean… … Zim, you jerk!" Stamping one foot, the human balled his fists as his side as the Irken strutted off, waving one hand disinterestedly. "You jerk!"

… … …

"So, about that ghost in your toilet?"

Dib jumped at the sweet little voice, spinning with an awkward clatter of desk and chair to see a certain Sue standing about an inch behind him, hands clasped behind her back and cute little rump up in their air as she leaned over. He sweat dropped.

"O-Oh…! Sue! Y-You can't… I mean… oh crud."

The girl cocked her head. "What is it?"

"Step away from Zim's boyfriend, vile heap of tumorous earth-meat!"

Dib groaned audibly as Sue straightened, looking genuinely surprised as the odd green boy stormed over, shoving his face into hers in a truly rude fashion.

"E-Excuse me?" she stammered, eyelashes twitching.

"I say step away from Zim's boyfriend! Step away, stinking pile of rotting stink-filth! The Dib is mine to terrorize and ravage as Zim sees fit!"

"Why that word, Zim…?" Dib moaned into his desk, having hid his face there in some vein attempt to disappear. "Your word choice, Zim…! Bad, bad word choice...!"

Sue's eye twitched, cuteness faltering. "Dib, isn't this the alien you're always talking about?" she asked around Zim, pointing.

"Yes," the human said miserably, his voice muffled, just as Zim placed himself between them again.

"Zim will not stand for such communications with his Dib!" he cried, shoving roughly at the girl. "Away with you, away with your _smelliness_!"

"O…ow! Ouch…! I- ouch!" Sue wasn't able to work in a word of protest as she was shoved through desks and other students- who had gathered to watch –by a very determined Zim, at last sent stumbling into the bookcase at the edge of the classroom.

Zim, nodding his approval, darted back down the pathway he had plowed, pausing just long enough to shout, "Victory! Victory for Zim!" before grabbing Dib unexpectedly and dashing from the room, holding the disgruntled human triumphantly above his head. Once out in the hallway, he set the earthanoid boy firmly on his feet, looking satisfied.

"Zim…" Dib gathered himself before yelling, "What… was that?!" pointing back toward the classroom. Zim grinned haughtily.

"That was Zim's victory," he said smartly, and then leaned in to kiss the human in a possessive manner, his movements harsh enough to make Dib squeak with alarm before he drew back. "Now Zim's work is done. See you tomorrow, boyfriend Dib-thing!"

"Wh… wait just a minute!" Dib cried, lurching after the Irken. "Not again! You're not doing that and then just leave again, Zim! Get back here, you jerk!"

"Zim will see his Dib tomorrow!" the Invader called over his shoulder, waving. "If the Dib sees fit to associate with any other pig-smellies in the meanwhiles, Zim will chase them off then!"

"…" Anger building in him and fueling the already scarlet blush he sported, Dib stared after his would-be mortal-enemy. "Zim! You make a crappy boyfriend, you know that?!"

"Zim is the _ideal _boyfriend! The Dib's head is just too large and thick for him to realize it as of yet!"

"…! Zim, you jerk!"

But somehow, inexplicably, they were both smiling.

THE END (kind of)

**(A/N) Well, wasn't that enjoyable~? ^_^ I hope it was, anyway. It certainly was fun to write. **

**Please leave a review! It means the world to me. :'3 **

**New chapter of Defective will be up tomorrow! Also, check the poll on my profile for info about an upcoming project!  
**


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